Conclusion: Reflections On Time Well Spent

End, beginning, or stop along the way?

This was a brilliant idea.

The past thirty days have involved much more than just meeting thirty new people. They've opened the door to a whole new world of things to do out there.

In the past thirty days, I've fallen in love with Berkeley. I've discovered the power of Meetup. I've learned to stop being so shy and face the possibility of awkwardness. I've seen that my days are better when other people are in them. I've realized which of my interests are things that are easy to share. I've seen what can happen if you're just willing to ask. I've experienced the transformative power of turning fears into goals. And best of all, I don't feel so alone.

As the project draws to a close, at least this phase of it, I keep coming across hints that I may be on to something big and important here with my emphasis on just getting out there.

The cover story of the New York Times magazine a few weeks ago was about research on the health effects of social networks. As Danny read it aloud to me the other night, I couldn't help hitting him on the arm and saying, "See!"

"If you want to be happy, what’s most important is to have lots of friends. Historically, we have often thought that having a small cluster of tight, long-term friends is crucial to being happy. But Christakis and Fowler found that the happiest people...were those who had the most connections, even if the relationships weren’t necessarily deep ones.

The reason these people were the happiest, the duo theorize, is that happiness doesn’t come only from having deep, heart-to-heart talks. It also comes from having daily exposure to many small moments of contagious happiness."

Small moments of contagious happiness. That's what's missing when I sit at home all day with the cat. That's what a night of Irish dancing or an afternoon tutoring kids or a bike ride with strangers can bring to me.

Then a couple nights later, we watched an episode of This American Life's TV show which includes an act about high school yearbook photos. One character is a girl who everyone just seems to know. When the producers finally meet her themselves, she explains that she's moved a lot so she just tries to be known, tries to meet people. Of all the high schoolers, she was the most impressive: wise for age 15, sweet, thoughtful. I was never like her then, but I'd love to be now.

So now it's time to let the results settle in. To get in touch will the people I vowed to see again, and find time to make it happen. To start the slow process of building friendships out of "nice to meet you". To start living life as a genuine member of a community. And yes, to take a break from constantly searching for today's person to write about.

But there are still so many people I want to meet. Friends of friends who I never quite got scheduled up with. Neighbors whose potluck I wasn't around for. Events I intended to go with but never had to in order to make my quota. And the project is so helpful in making sure I actually do these things. And I have some momentum going here that I don't want to just let slip away into entropy again.

So I hereby propose a modified, sustainable, long-term version of the Encantada Project: one new person every week from here until infinity. Or until the cost outweighs the benefit, whichever comes first. But I'm shooting for infinity.

I'm going to take some time off to recover from the thirty-day blitz, so the weekly blogging may not begin until the end of the month. I'll probably be less diligent with the photos. But I love the structure, and the possibilities it allows me. I'm not quite ready to be all the way done.

For tonight, though, I'm going to have a quiet dinner with my boyfriend, appreciate my life, and drink the Day 1 bottle of wine. Here's to all the great people who made this possible by being willing to be met: Le'chaim!